Investigative Series: Which Crab Porn Would You Enjoy?

by Elle Olson and Clair Willden

As part of our ongoing Investigative Series, Sad Goose writers Elle Olson and Clair Willden have compiled the definitive way to decide which piece of Crab Pornography you'll enjoy based on your personal characteristics. 

Read the graphic like this: the first two categories give you the title of the porn you'll like best. The last two categories tell you the name of the pornstar headlining the show. Clair's is Crustacean Situation starring noted Crab Porn actor Coastal Kelp. Elle's is Brackish Xtreme starring the darling of the Crab Porn industry, Squilla Loch.

See the full graphic below the cut!